I feel like I should start by telling you my story. When I was a little girl, I grew up in a pretty good home. A home where Dad was home every night and Mom home schooled us and we traveled a lot. They weren’t perfect, but they were mine and they loved me dearly.
They did one thing for me (out of many) that I appreciate the most. They taught me about God. We moved around a lot growing up, so we didn’t have the same church home all the time, but we found a few good congregations to go to. And at home, my parents built the foundation. Indeed, church was a supplement, a bonus if you will. Home was my primary source of spiritual education. We listened to Twila Paris, Sandi Patty, and the Maranatha Singers all the time.
My parents taught me to read my Bible and pray to God in the name of Jesus. They taught me to keep the Ten Commandments. They taught me everything they knew. My Mom named me Hannah after Hannah in 1 Samuel and told me it was partly because she wanted me to remember to pray. Hannah means prayer.
Once we settled down, when I was a teenager, my parents couldn’t find a church that practiced what Jesus taught in the Sermon on the Mount, so they ultimately left. I was encouraged to read my Bible and pray, and when I chose to attend a church down the street by myself, they supported me and offered to go with me. But I came to the same conclusion my parents did and I ultimately left. I had graduated high school and was contemplating what steps to take next in my life. I felt like I should go to college, and so I did.
That’s where I met Lexi, my best friend who introduced me to the Gospel.
Lexi was happy. She had an inner joy that radiated and SHINED through her, no matter how she felt—tired, stressed out, stretched thin—and I wanted to know where her joy came from.
It came from the Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ. A year and eight months after Lexi and I met, I was baptized a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
The Church brings me the greatest joy. The greatest peace and happiness. The greatest reason to live life fully. The best instruction manual for daily life. My Heavenly Father and Savior’s Love for me makes my heart soar. It’s my heartbeat. I need them like the very air I breathe. So you can see why Lexi is my “eternal best friend.” Because without her, I might not have the greatest gift.
You see, it’s not fun being chronically sick. But that’s not the focus of my biography because that’s not the focus of my life or of this blog. My focus is on the Restored Gospel because Jesus Christ lives and He is the Savior and Redeemer of the World. Yes, I have a few diagnoses that aren’t curable, but they won’t last forever. Their limitations lie within the mortal frame in which I live. My favorite hymn, ‘O My Father,’ says, “When I leave this frail existence, when I lay this mortal by...”
Our bodies are frail and we will leave them behind when our spirits return to the God who created us. Being sick has taught me Gospel Doctrine I’m not sure I could have learned any other way. Having a body that goes into panic attacks has taught me to breathe, to be in the present moment as I identify objects around me, and to pray. Without those moments where I have to pause, I would miss out on some of the closeness I share with my Heavenly Father. I love the closeness I get to share with him.
Some days I really wish I felt better, which makes me soooo grateful for the days when I do feel better. The Sundays I make it through all 3 hours. The Tuesdays when I don’t leave work exhausted. The nights when I can concentrate and comprehend my homework. I graduate on May 11, 2018, and I am so much more grateful for my degree than I would be if it had been easy.
The whole focus of this blog is to be real and honest. I’m going to tell you how I felt in the past week. I’m not going to sugar coat it. But I’m also going to share the scriptures that helped me. I’m going to share how the spiritual got me through the physical and mental. Anxiety and depression are just as real as autism and ITP, but different weeks are different. I pray that my blog will be a source of inspiration to those who are also struggling, whatever your diagnosis may be or if you remain undiagnosed.
I will end my bio with a statement I once wrote in my journal:
“On the hardest days, when you’re too sick to get up, you’re too tired to pray, and you’re too dizzy to read, let your heart cry out to your Heavenly Father, think about your favorite Scripture verses and what they mean to you, and remember... on the absolute hardest days, hold on to hope, and remember: this won’t rise with you in the resurrection.”
Thank you for reading my blog!
They did one thing for me (out of many) that I appreciate the most. They taught me about God. We moved around a lot growing up, so we didn’t have the same church home all the time, but we found a few good congregations to go to. And at home, my parents built the foundation. Indeed, church was a supplement, a bonus if you will. Home was my primary source of spiritual education. We listened to Twila Paris, Sandi Patty, and the Maranatha Singers all the time.
My parents taught me to read my Bible and pray to God in the name of Jesus. They taught me to keep the Ten Commandments. They taught me everything they knew. My Mom named me Hannah after Hannah in 1 Samuel and told me it was partly because she wanted me to remember to pray. Hannah means prayer.
Once we settled down, when I was a teenager, my parents couldn’t find a church that practiced what Jesus taught in the Sermon on the Mount, so they ultimately left. I was encouraged to read my Bible and pray, and when I chose to attend a church down the street by myself, they supported me and offered to go with me. But I came to the same conclusion my parents did and I ultimately left. I had graduated high school and was contemplating what steps to take next in my life. I felt like I should go to college, and so I did.
That’s where I met Lexi, my best friend who introduced me to the Gospel.
Lexi was happy. She had an inner joy that radiated and SHINED through her, no matter how she felt—tired, stressed out, stretched thin—and I wanted to know where her joy came from.
It came from the Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ. A year and eight months after Lexi and I met, I was baptized a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
The Church brings me the greatest joy. The greatest peace and happiness. The greatest reason to live life fully. The best instruction manual for daily life. My Heavenly Father and Savior’s Love for me makes my heart soar. It’s my heartbeat. I need them like the very air I breathe. So you can see why Lexi is my “eternal best friend.” Because without her, I might not have the greatest gift.
You see, it’s not fun being chronically sick. But that’s not the focus of my biography because that’s not the focus of my life or of this blog. My focus is on the Restored Gospel because Jesus Christ lives and He is the Savior and Redeemer of the World. Yes, I have a few diagnoses that aren’t curable, but they won’t last forever. Their limitations lie within the mortal frame in which I live. My favorite hymn, ‘O My Father,’ says, “When I leave this frail existence, when I lay this mortal by...”
Our bodies are frail and we will leave them behind when our spirits return to the God who created us. Being sick has taught me Gospel Doctrine I’m not sure I could have learned any other way. Having a body that goes into panic attacks has taught me to breathe, to be in the present moment as I identify objects around me, and to pray. Without those moments where I have to pause, I would miss out on some of the closeness I share with my Heavenly Father. I love the closeness I get to share with him.
Some days I really wish I felt better, which makes me soooo grateful for the days when I do feel better. The Sundays I make it through all 3 hours. The Tuesdays when I don’t leave work exhausted. The nights when I can concentrate and comprehend my homework. I graduate on May 11, 2018, and I am so much more grateful for my degree than I would be if it had been easy.
The whole focus of this blog is to be real and honest. I’m going to tell you how I felt in the past week. I’m not going to sugar coat it. But I’m also going to share the scriptures that helped me. I’m going to share how the spiritual got me through the physical and mental. Anxiety and depression are just as real as autism and ITP, but different weeks are different. I pray that my blog will be a source of inspiration to those who are also struggling, whatever your diagnosis may be or if you remain undiagnosed.
I will end my bio with a statement I once wrote in my journal:
“On the hardest days, when you’re too sick to get up, you’re too tired to pray, and you’re too dizzy to read, let your heart cry out to your Heavenly Father, think about your favorite Scripture verses and what they mean to you, and remember... on the absolute hardest days, hold on to hope, and remember: this won’t rise with you in the resurrection.”
Thank you for reading my blog!